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Erica Roman Blog

I write so that my healing may bring healing to others.

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Tag: youngwidow

1 Post

A Widow’s Rage Defense of Patton Oswalt’s Engagement

July 7, 2017 — 827 Comments

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That milestone moment when a girl falls in love with @Target lol

I was scrolling back to find a picture of Jon so I could write something for Father’s Day. I stumbled upon this video that I had no memory of. . . I don’t remember taking it and I don’t think I’ve ever watched it. It was taken 2 months before, we were about to celebrate Jocelyn’s first birthday. Im not sure what prompted me to take a video. It‘s just 26 seconds of a quiet afternoon at his parents house, Jon walking around with a guitar like usual, his dad listening to the news and his mom holding Jocelyn. It was nothing special at the time but now this video is priceless. . . I wish Jon could have had more than one year of Fatherhood. I don’t remember what I did for him for his first and only Father’s Day. . . I would give my right arm if he could be a father to my children, even if I couldn’t be in the picture. I hate that they don’t know their father, that they’ll only know him like a character in a story. But the year he had was a wonderful one. I’m so glad that he got to love on our baby girl, even for just a little while. . . I miss you Jon @roman__music , and so do our babies, even if they don’t know it yet. Happy Father’s Day

Tonight, for the first time in years, I am going to sleep in my place that is mine. I am only filled with gratitude. . . Thank you @jasmine.jrose , @ashton_isnt_high and @kelseyedgecombe for helping me with my kids so I could pack and move. They had so much fun with you all and your help lessened the stress of moving from both me and my kids. . . Thank you @brennenfinchum , @ry_dalbs and @trentonalan_nature for lending your muscles and loading and unloading the Uhaul. Your help made the work go by quickly. . . Thank you @neilrittle for walking with me through this entire process.. from packing boxes and patching holes to doing the lion share of the first Uhaul load and building Nathan’s crib (again). You’ve been so amazing and have considerably lighten the load of this move. I’m so happy that you’re in my life. . . I was already planning on writing this thank you post when I was hit with an overwhelmingly kind surprise just before wrapping up this evening. My community secretly pulled together and collected $3,650 to help me settle into my new home. (And gave it in cash lol) . . I don’t even have words to say but thank you. Sometimes I feel unseen. Thank you for seeing me and supporting me in this change of season. Thank you for loving me and being there for me when I need it. I’m both humbled and grateful for this gift. Thank you ❤️

A place of my own . Edit: I didn’t buy a home. I wish I was able to. This is just my first place on my own since being widowed. Which is also a big step, just not as big as becoming a homeowner

If all you can do is stand, that is enough. That’s probably been my unconscious mantra these last two years. And this month has been no different. . . Soon after graduating ministry school I found out that I had weeks rather than months to move out. I managed to secure an apartment where I could pay the 6 month lease in full using what’s left of my savings. . . Then in two weeks time I packed and moved most of my things to storage and got my areas of the house I’ve been living in staged to show so the owners could sell it. . . My planned trip (rearranged and rescheduled) to Florida was timely, after a week of only being able to stay at the house at night so it could be shown, I needed a place to rest, even if it meant a 15 hour trip to get there. . . Florida was great until some unexpected bills hit and then my kids both spiked high fevers and a small rash showed up on their face. I started freaking out because it looked like they were getting Hand Foot Mouth.. again. Thankfully it passed after several days and we could enjoy Disney and more fun outings with the family. . . Now after driving my two babes back from Florida to Tennessee I’m in the midst of packing what things remain and on Saturday I’ll finally be moved into my own place. . . This month has been a hard one. But each day I choose to stand. I do the next thing because it needs to be done. I’m praying that with a home of my own I can move from surviving each day to looking towards the future. . . I’m trying to shift my heart towards gratitude. I’m thankful that I have such wonderful family on both sides, who helped me with my kids so I could have some breaks. I’m thankful that I am, for the first time in years, moving in to a place that is mine. . . And finally, I’m thankful that God has placed in me a steadfastness (or stubberness, depending on my mood) so that no matter what happens I climb to my feet and stand. . . This design is probably my favorite in my line. If you would like one, it comes in many different colors and styles. I prefer tanks, but I’ve got it in shirts and jackets as well. . Click the link in my bio to order . . #ericaroman #warriorwidow #widow #youngwidow #tank

The kids and I spent a weekend with Jon’s family. With all of the craziness in my life I nearly backed out of this trip. But I decided to make it happen because I want my kids to be a part of every Roman family event possible. Being around them is a way for my kids to be connected to their father and I feel that connection too. I saw Jon with us all through the weekend in my mind’s eye. It made me both happy and sad. But mostly I feel grateful. I’ve heard some horror stories from other widows who’s inlaws have treated them and their children terribly. I’m very blessed that Jon’s family is so supportive and generous. I’m so glad they love me and my children well. I love being a part of the Roman family. . . #ericaroman

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© Erica Roman, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Erica Roman and Erica Roman Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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