youngwidow – Erica Roman Blog

Skip to content

Menu Item
Menu Item
Menu Item
Search

Search for:

Erica Roman Blog

I write so that my healing may bring healing to others.

About
Speak
Support
Shop
Contact

Tag: youngwidow

1 Post

A Widow’s Rage Defense of Patton Oswalt’s Engagement

July 7, 2017 — 828 Comments

Advertisements

Follow my blog via Email!

Enter your email address to follow my blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,220 other followers

Instagram

A Midsummer’s Nights Dream with my mid summer night’s dream 😘 #socorny #donthate #shakespeareinthepark

Some moms post pictures of their happy little children sitting angelically in their pristine homes furnished & decorated to look like a photo in an interior design magazine. I am not that mom. . . Tonight at dinner Nathan decided to cram rice everywhere while Jocelyn repeatedly made what I can only describe as Dumb and Dumber’s most annoying sound in the world. By the time dinner was over I was completely tapped out. But a single parent has no reinforcements . . Nathan had managed to cover himself in food so I had to strip him down and do a pre-rinse in the kitchen before carrying him right to the bathroom . . I got both kids through their baths and washed their hair even though they acted like I was trying to water board them . . After bath time was over and my kids were wrestled into their pajamas, I had to immediately tend to the kitchen. My children decided this was the time to run nascar laps through the kitchen, tracking rice onto the carpet. . . I lost my cool more than once before they decided to play elsewhere. I knew they just wanted attention but the kitchen was in such as state that it could not wait until after bedtime tonight. . . When I was done I sat down and read an endless stream of books all the while Nathan yelled all the words he knew in my ear. After what felt like a million, “yes Nathan that is a doggie”s I finally stood up. I couldn’t be climbed on for another second without completely losing it. . . I felt guilty for being frustrated with my kids, especially since I had had a break from them for 2 hours today. And when I say break I mean my annual gynecological appointment. Because as a single mom.. that constitutes as a break. . . It’s 8pm. The kids are in bed and I have shut down the house and I’m in bed myself. The rest of the cleaning and my word count goal can wait. I have nothing left tonight. . . I’m not writing this to complain. I’m writing this for army of other #singlemom s or even just #moms in general who end the night in an #exhausted heap . . When you scroll past all of the perfect mom posts I want you to have at least one post on your feed that reminds you that you aren’t alone. You’re doing better than you think.

How do you help someone who is actively grieving? It’s very simple. 1 Remove the phrase, “Let me know if you need anything” from your vocabulary 2 Pick something and do it. . Someone who is still in the state of shock from their loss can barely remember if they showered or not that day. They won’t have the brain space to look around their life to find something for you to do, much less have the energy to reach out to you and ask for your assistance . We need to stop asking those in the midst of trauma to beg for help. We need to be the ones to make the effort to discover what they need . I took this photo 2 years ago. 4 months after Jon died and I discovered my pregnancy. I had started craving donuts and a friend of mine stopped by on her way to work and gave me this thoughtful little gift and a quick hug . The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I was having an awful morning being in the throes of another grief wave when I heard her knock at my door. Her thoughtfulness helped to life my spirit. The 4-6 month period was actually the most painful season of my grieving. I no longer had the shock and denial to buffer me from my devastating new reality . Most grievers get the most support in the first 2 months and then everything tapers off. I’m so thankful that I had friends who still remembered me. Who brought me donuts and hugs throughout my first year and beyond. . If this post has crossed your feed and you’re wondering how you can help your grieving friend, you can never fail with donuts. (Even vegans have donuts they can eat! 😜) . . Beyond that, find a practical need that you can meet. Hire someone to clean their house. Gift them one of those box meal services. Tell them you’re coming over to play with the kids so they can nap or get errands done. . Or facilitate their own self care. Buy them a gift certificate for a spa day. Take them shopping for new clothes. . . Keep including them in your social life. Invite them to dinner, game night or the movies. Even if they decline 100 times. Continue to let them know that they are not forgotten . Grief requires active support. Take the initiative and go buy them donuts! . #grief #loss #mourning #support

I forgot to post this yesterday. Nathan ran up and hugged Jocelyn without any prompting at all. Just because he loves to love. As hard as things were in the beginning, I’m so grateful for him. Nathan completes my little family 💙

My tattoo is officially one year old! One of the best decisions I’ve made in these last 2.5 years is getting this tattoo in honor of Jon. I’m so glad I waited for a great artist ( @findyoursmile ). He was so thoughtful in the details. Each rose petal has the four notes that comprise “Hal-le-lu-jah” from my favorite song Jon used to perform. 🥀🎶❤️ . . . #tattoo #tattoos #memorialtattoo #ericaroman #warriorwidow #hallelujah #tattoorose #rosetattoo #watercolor #watercolortattoo #remember

It's not as far along as I wanted to be at this point, but I'm finally back in the habit of working on my book. Just it the 15k word mark tonight and figured I'd share the milestone with you all! I can't want to finish it and get started with the publishing process! . . #amwriting #writing #writer #writersofinstagram #write #scrivener #biography #futureauthor #wordcount

Copyright

© Erica Roman, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Erica Roman and Erica Roman Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Advertisements

© 2018 Erica Roman Blog

Blog at WordPress.com.

Advertisements